Learning Something New

My dear friend Dr. Michelle Mazur of Relationally Speaking recently challenged her clients to do something they weren't good at. In her blog, she spoke of her heinous attempt at art and vowed to take an art class. Michelle will be the first one to tell you she hasn't an artistic or crafty bone in her body.

It's just not her strong suit.

I will be the first one to tell you that I can not take portraits.

I have tried. I suck at it. Being an introvert, it is difficult for me to communicate the desired pose and how I hope it will look in the end result. I barely passed Studio class in school. As a result I like to take pictures of flowers, waterfalls and dogs. Portrait photographers hold a very high esteem for me. They are able to do something I could only dream of.

So when she challenged us to do something we suck at, I knew she was telling me to focus my lens on the human face.

I had some practice before. A few years back I challenged myself and joined a Street Photography group.

I had fun. And produced some show worthy work in the process. But there I could hide behind the camera, shoot from a distance, stay invisible.

Actual portraits? That means an interaction and communication, ideas that incite apprehension and at times fear.

Giving Michelle my goal she reacted with joy. Then I asked if I could practice on her.

"Of Course!" she replied.

I would like to say that I overcame my fear & apprehension. Michelle is a good friend of mine after all. But alas, I was tongue-tied and lost in my directions. I asked her to face a glass wall and she made fun of me while trying to comply (she wanted to know her motivation). I wasn't sure what I was looking for but got something. In her frustration with my direction she began to laugh and there she was - the woman I know she is: fun, happy, confident, strong.

Later she said "Dude, you need to make me look at walls more often." She now uses that image in some of her promotional materials. Plus another image when all I could tell her to do is walk between this spot and that spot.

Her tagline is "What is your presentation destination." An image of her walking near a sculpture at the Olympic Sculpture Park exemplifies the journey to the destination perfectly for her.

I may not have overcome my sucking, but there is hope.

Fear Doesn't Live Here

I have this fantasy of myself. I like to pull it out once in a while and play with the fantasy, but really the reality of chasing my fantasy frightens me. I like to think sometimes that I am a mountain climber, scrambling up rock and ice to stand on a great pinnacle of the earth. I will view imaginary images of myself in glacier glasses and parka, skin weathered by the elements smiling for the camera. But I have this slight fear of stumbling and falling to my death or a rock slipping from under me and I fall to my death.

It's a fear that sometimes stops me from going further up the mountain.

It's a fear that keeps me from standing on a pinnacle, smiling for the camera.

Several years ago, I decided to do something that frightened me every year. Generally "the event" takes place on near my birthday. Several years ago I crossed a crevasse on my way to spend the night at Muir Camp on Mt Rainier. The next year I scrambled up loose dinner-plate sized shale to a view, just short of the top, of the Goat Rocks Wilderness. After that, my non-competitive self decided to run my 1st triathlon.

Through all I realized my fears were nothing to be afraid of.

Then I found myself hiking up to Tooth Saddle on my way to scramble Bean Peak. The final scramble was an option. I didn't have to go and thought that I wouldn't. I even voiced that I might just stop at the saddle. I'd have great views.

But then something inside me said why not?

Each step, each climb got me closer to the top. I stopped once & thought "I still have to come down this." A fleeting thought that was gone as quickly as it appeared.

Then it was one last wedge of the foot into a crack, one last handhold, one last movement - my arms, legs and body moving in unison to gain the summit.

The summit. I stood on a pinnacle of the earth enjoying the view, but oops, forgot the picture. Did get a pic of Trail Turtle though.